Tuesday, August 21, 2012

About my mom.

Over the last few weeks, Mom has been more combative and has refused treatment at the nursing home. Last week, in her confusion and agitation, she missed two dialysis treatments. She was hospitalized because of this, and even in the hospital, she continued to resist treatment. After talking to several doctors, we have decided to discontinue dialysis, and we have moved her to an inpatient hospice facility.

Mom says she wants dialysis, but she resists everything else. When anyone tries to treat her leg and foot wounds, she resists. When they try to give her insulin, she resists. And even when she's in the dialysis unit, she fights the nurses and does not cooperate unless sedated heavily. Because of the dementia, she is extremely paranoid. She doesn't trust her doctors, nurses or me, and this has led to her yelling, fighting and swatting at people trying to help her. One doctor said that Mom's resistance of treatment may be her subconscious way of telling us she's tired of all this.

When another doctor suggested stopping dialysis back in June, we couldn't even consider it, but now that she's fighting medical help, we feel like it's the right thing to do. But wow, are we struggling mightily with this decision! I can't stop flashing back to 1993 when Daddy stopped dialysis and what Mom said then about quality of life. Unbelievable that we're repeating that now.

Please pray for Mom's comfort and peace, and please pray especially for those of us who are struggling to imagine a world without her in it.

3 comments:

Texas Jeana said...

Oh Charis, I cannot imagine how difficult this must be. You are all in my thoughts and prayers. Love you all so much!

Unknown said...

So many prayers for peace to you and yours. We have been having some similar but more minor problems with my mom lately, too. So hard to know what to do, and to come to terms with these decisions. With any problem this big, I always give it to God. I send you much love.

Paul Westbrook said...

Charis (and the other dubs) -

I just saw that your mom passed away this morning. I am so sorry for your loss. I am also so thankful for the way you and your family selflessly cared for her and faced decisions about her life. You have endured a tough and frustrating road with grace and love. I know your mom was not able to thank you in recent months because her illness took away who she really was, but I know the real Nancy would have been (and now in fact is) so pleased and thankful to have been guided to the time when she would begin her new Life by a truly outstanding daughter, Son-in-law, and grankids. We love you all. Please let us know if there is any way we can be helpful to any of you.

Paul W.