Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Green-eyed.

It is a blessing to be married to someone who complements you, someone who does what you don't, who is up when you're down. Over the 19 years we've been together, Brett and I have done a pretty good job of complementing each other. As Jerry Maguire would say, he "completes me."

But sometimes, it's just plain irritating that he's so good at something that gives me fits.

There are many things Brett does exceptionally well. Fitness, for example. At 45, Brett's in fantastic shape. He works out all the time. He walks the dog and rides his bike, hitting our neighborhood trails multiple times a day. It pains him to miss getting outside when the weather's nice. He's a model of physical activity.

Cooking is another one. He has a gift for mixing ingredients to create tasty meals. He also has an inner calorie counter that keeps tabs on what he's eaten and how many soft drinks the kids have consumed in the last 48 hours.

But Brett's quality that's causing me the most jealousy right now? His utter LACK of jealousy. He has always been the kind of person who can be genuinely happy for others' success. Sadly, I can't say the same of myself.

I have long struggled with being jealous, of wishing I had what others have. I can logically see the huge flaw in my thinking and I KNOW that envy is a sin—a destructive one, at that. I have prayed about it, and over and over I have counted my many blessings, trying to make my heart feel what my head knows. I'd like to think that I'm doing better with this ugly envy as I've aged, but events of late have reminded me that I'm NOT.

It only takes a quick survey of my husband's enviable (See what I did there?) attitude to see how far from the goal I really am.

So yeah, it bothers me that he's able to bypass the downfalls of jealousy, and it's frustrating that he can't empathize when I'm caught in the envy trap. But Brett is gracious enough to forgive me when my many flaws rear their ugly heads, and I'm blessed to live with such a great role model.

It's time I quit being jealous of Brett's attitude and start emulating it.

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