A look back at 2013.

To quote Papa, “HARK!” Behold our annual year-in-review blog post, which, like our Christmas cards, is better late than never.

Our mourning for my mom (who died Aug. 22, 2012) and the cancer diagnosis for Brett’s dad (who died Dec. 19) consumed much of our physical and emotional energy this year. Even now, as the waves of grief seem unending, it’s tempting to chalk up the year to mere survival. But this blog is our family scrapbook, and it’d be inaccurate to say that’s all that happened in this eventful year. Because of our busy-ness or sadness (or both), some of these never got their own blog posts during the year. I have grand plans to rectify that—someday!—but for now, here’s a summary of 2013’s many happy moments.

January

Brett was honored at the Twin Galaxies Trading Card Premiere in Austin. At this event, video gaming legend Walter Day presented Brett and other Texans with posters commemorating their inclusion in his video game trading card series. Brett actually has two cards in the collection: one for himself and one for his book series.

It was a huge honor for Brett to be recognized for his contributions to the video game community. Held at Pinballz, our favorite Austin arcade, this evening was a fun chance for us to rub shoulders with Day and other video game greats. (Brett’s account is here.)

February

I’ve lived in Fort Worth for 23 years now, but until 2013, I’d never been to the famous Fort Worth Stock Show! In February, we had the perfect excuse to go: a visit from our nephew from Japan along with our niece and her sweet family. We didn’t see just a ton of stock, but we did get to explore the midway and share some funnel cakes.

More photos from that day are here.

Another fun February adventure was a visit to the Fort Worth Museum of Science and History for the Titanic exhibition. Nana had heard about this and made sure we didn’t miss it. That was another fun winter Saturday! Upon arrival, each guest received a boarding pass with information about one particular passenger. After going through the exhibit, filled with artifacts from the ship, sample guestrooms and even a chunk of “iceberg,” we found out how our passengers fared. It was a touching and fascinating look into the Titanic tragedy, and I’m so glad we were able to attend.

 

March/April

Katie joined her high school bowling team, so much of the winter and early spring was consumed with her weekly bowling contests and the big regional and state tournaments.

In Katie’s first year on the team, they won STATE! It was so exciting for all of them, and it was a real learning experience for all of us who had never delved into the world of competitive bowling. (More photos from the regional tournament are here.)

Katie and I also spent a few hours at Watauga Fest one Saturday in April. It was great to check out this community event and challenge my fear of ferris wheels. This year, we tried to get out of the house more often in an effort to fight the blahs. It’s amazing what a walk around a carnival can do for the soul.

May

Shortly before the school year ended, we welcomed the newest Dub into our family. Precious Daisy was just a whiff of an idea of a dog when we first brought her home, but she found her way into all of our hearts. We already can't imagine our home without her.

Over Memorial Day weekend, we all gathered at Nana and Papa’s house for an old-fashioned “singin’”!

This was before the cancer diagnosis, but we knew Papa had not been feeling well. This gave us a great excuse to get together and worship our Lord while boosting all of our spirits. It was a nice reminder that even when we’re not in control, we know who is!

June

We knew how busy our summers can be, so we made an early June visit to my hometown, Tyler, and the Tyler State Park before band and camps took over.

More pix here.

While in Tyler, we also visited the cemetery where my parents are buried and stopped by the Tyler Rose Garden. It was a quick trip but a nice little get-away. 

Katie attended church camp one week in June, and while she was gone, Ryan and I decided to spend a couple of days in Austin.

We played with the grandnieces and grandnephew, ate lunch at our beloved Chuy’s and Kerbey Lane, swam in the frigid Barton Springs, and knocked down some tokens at Pinballz. It was great! (And Katie’s turn would come in July.) More photos from that adventure are here.

This was Katie’s summer of camps! She went to Camp Zenith in Oklahoma, band camp at TCU, and helped the special campers at Camp Barnabas in Missouri. Whew!

More here.

July

Early in July we enjoyed another excursion with Nana. This time we took the Trinity Railway Express into Dallas. 

Our first stop: Dealey Plaza and the Sixth Floor Museum. Since this was a summer day, the museum was really crowded. The upcoming 50th anniversary of JFK’s assassination certainly added to the interest, too. And no wonder. It’s sobering to stand on the grassy knoll and fascinating to see all the exhibits on display in the museum. 

After that, we ate lunch at Spaghetti Warehouse in West End and then paid our first visit to the Dallas World Aquarium. What a fun day! More pix here and here. 

Ryan and I had escaped to Austin in early June. In mid-July, it was Katie’s turn! We brought her friend along with us, and we hit our favorite spots: Amy’s Ice Cream, Pinballz, and Cara and Jeff’s house. We also watched the bats emerge from the Congress Avenue bridge, and we toured Darrell K Royal-Texas Memorial Stadium and the Horns’ trophy room.

The girls were sweet to humor me for that stadium tour. It’s something I’d always wanted to do but had never taken the time. It was really interesting to see all the trophies and parts of the stadium I’d never experienced in my 20+ years of watching games there! More pix from that trip are here.

At the end of July, Ryan and I left for a magical vacation. Ryan, a huge fan of the TV show Survivor, had saved his money for more than a year to make this trip happen. Our destination: the Hearts of Reality fundraiser in Celebration, Florida, featuring dozens of contestants from Survivor and other reality TV shows. Since Ryan paid for the flight and the Celebration part of the trip, I added on some days at Walt Disney World. (When in Rome, right?) 

It worked out that we were at Magic Kingdom for Ryan’s actual birthday, so we celebrated with dinner at the new Be Our Guest restaurant. 

What a treat it was to be back at WDW just a year after our first visit! We hit all the parks, stayed in the new(ish) Art of Animation Resort, and soaked it all in. But the highlight came once we left Disney for Celebration. Even before the big fundraising event, Ryan was hobnobbing with all these former Survivors and hanging out in person with other superfans that he’d met online. He was in hog heaven!

More pictures from the Hearts of Reality are on Ryan’s Facebook page.

August

August meant the return to marching band and school.

I was pretty emotional on the first day of school, realizing that this would be our last “first day” photo with both Ryan and Katie! How can Ryan be a senior?

September/October

Thanks to marching band, a good chunk of our autumns has been spent in football stadiums. (OK, so maybe my Longhorn obsession has a little something to do with that, too!) Brett and I had a great time going to the Friday night games and the weekend contests. Ryan and Katie did a wonderful job juggling band rehearsals and events with their school work and other interests.

As far as my Longhorn love goes, it was great fun to take both kids to a game. Brett even attended a game with me! That was his first time in DKR since we’ve been married. Crazy!

And yes, I’m still spelling “Texas” before every game. Check out www.SpellTexas.org for the evidence of my insanity.

At the end of September, Brett’s brother hosted a family reunion for Papa’s benefit. Because of his cancer, Papa wasn’t up to attending the annual Marshall reunion over Labor Day. This weekend party gave him a chance to see everyone closer to home. 

I think everybody was really glad to just spend time with him, too.

For Halloween, we again participated in our friends’ annual pumpkin carving party. Such a fun tradition! Our hosts are so creative with their decorations, and it’s great to see everyone’s creations.

I went with a retro photo theme this year.

For the big night, Brett again set up an old TV to play monster movies. We stuck to the whole Frankenstein theme, too!

Well, Daisy was a Ghostbuster, but she still fit in with our creepy and kookie family!

November

With November came the end of marching season, which was especially poignant for Ryan and the other seniors.

At the end of that last football game, after the last performance of “The Underground,” the seniors formed an “R” on the field. Not gonna lie: I cried like a baby to see my baby boy march for the last time! We are so proud of all he’s accomplished with band.

The day before Thanksgiving, we journeyed into Fort Worth to see the Hotel Texas exhibit at the Amon Carter. This exhibit featured art that had been displayed in the Kennedys’ Fort Worth hotel suite for their Nov. 21, 1963, stay.

After seeing those pieces, we drove downtown to see the old Hotel Texas, now the Hilton. After striking up a conversation with a hotel employee, we rode up the elevator to see the door to the original suite 850. It’s crazy how eerie it was to walk in that hallway! 

Considering we were there less than a week after the 50th anniversary of JFK’s assassination, our little excursion was mighty timely, too.

December

We can expect a snow day or two in January or February, but when the ice storm came through in early December, we were surprised to get not one but TWO days off! 

We know we’ll have to pay for these bonus holidays when we make them up in the spring, but for four glorious days, we got to take a break from our crazy schedule. 

In mid-December Brett finished his sixth book. Retro Pop Culture A to Z: From Atari 2600 to Zombie Films is an eBook available for Amazon Kindle and B&N’s Nook. 

As his description says, “The book includes 60 fun-filled, feature-length chapters on such icons of popular culture as Alien, the Batman TV show, the Beatles, Dynamite magazine, Famous Monsters of Filmland, The Flash, Forbidden Planet, Golden Age arcade games, He-Man, the Intellivision, Jaws, MAD magazine, the Nintendo NES, Ray Bradbury, The Wizard of Oz, and the X-Men.” (My favorite chapter? The one on The Brady Bunch!)

So there you have it: a rather long-winded “short” summary of 2013’s happier days! My prayer for 2014 is that even as we cry and reminisce and struggle to surf our waves of grief, we will cherish the good days and make the most of our time together.

Happy new year!

2014.

2013 ended with sorrow, and this new year, like the last, finds us grieving, struggling to find our way in this brave new world without a certain loved one. Historically I've struggled with post-holiday (not to mention post-football) blues, and now January offers some tough days ahead: my mom's birthday (the 9th), Papa's (19th), and mine (which will never be the same without Mom).

So this New Year's Day, I'm lacking the sense of renewal that usually shows up on Jan. 1. Worse, I can't shake this feeling of dread. So much loss. So many changes. Will we be able to weather whatever's next?

I already know the answer: Of course we will! I just have to get my head to convince my heart. 

Until then, I'm thankful for a belly full of Nana's cooking, an abundance of sweet memories, a little white puppy at my feet, and the truth behind this song:

Ryan's eulogy for his grandfather.

Shared with his permission, Ryan’s eulogy for Papa. 

I don’t know where to start. For such a simple man, there were so many amazing things about him. Whether it be his actions, attributes, or way of living, my papa was truly incredible, and he left such an extraordinary legacy for my family. 

Papa may be the most special and unique person I have ever known. And I’m really gonna miss him. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a bit angry. Papa was supposed to live past 100. In years past, his health showed that this idea was entirely possible. But as we all know, that didn’t happen. His life was cut short. It’s been a hard couple of days, and I know it’s only going to get harder as we learn to adjust without him.

A friend of ours lost her husband in a car accident a few years ago on Christmas Eve. A few hours after Papa died, she messaged me saying to focus on the memories. They will give me peace and joy. And boy, have they.

As I walked through the garage to go inside my Nana’s house yesterday, I saw all the bicycles and tools that Papa had. I immediately thought of when I helped Nana and Papa clean out their garage a few years back, and how much Papa and I talked, whether it be about school, the tools we were moving, or whether or not certain spray cans were still usable or not. You could say these were little conversations, but how special they were to me.

When my dad gave me allowance this morning, I remembered the “Papa dollars” Papa would give my sister and I during trips to Marshall and McGregor.

As I was riding one of Papa’s bikes Thursday morning, I remembered my friends at school talking about someone on Eden Rd called “the Bike Man” who would fix their bikes at an extremely low price.

When my mom, sister, and I went to McDonald’s a couple of days ago, I thought of Papa taking me and two of my cousins, Adam and Chris, to McDonald’s around Christmastime while the girl cousins would have a sleepover at Nana’s.

Even when I logged onto Facebook this morning, I thought of how excited Papa was when he first got an account. He would always call it “Facemask.” A couple of days ago I went back on my “Timeline” to when Papa first got his “Facemask” and would post on my wall once every week or so. Some of his posts would say “Hello, Ryan, how is school going? Going well here, watching the Rangers losing.” There were short ones like “see you at the game” and “great teeth.” How special these posts were to me.

Papa did so much for us grandkids. All those band concerts, sports games, baptisms, birthday parties, Papa was there. I think my favorite thing about Papa was that I never had a doubt in my mind that he loved us grandkids. I just always knew. His attendance at the functions mentioned above, his wall posts on Facebook, his bragging about us at his 50th wedding anniversary, his saying “Papa loves you” as we would say goodbye. Truly special.

Shifting back to this past week. It’s been one of the toughest weeks of my life. Our whole family was pretty much camped out at my Nana’s all week as we prepared to say goodbye to Papa. He was becoming pretty unresponsive and by Tuesday he was pretty still, despite the occasional moving his hand to feel his head since he had a headache. However, something happened that night that was quite possibly the most special moment of my entire life. Our family was gathered around him, singing songs for about an hour. You could tell he enjoyed it, and every once in a while you could see him attempting to sing along with us. Eventually it was time to go home. It was time to say goodbye to Papa. Many of us thought that would be his last night. When it was my turn to say goodbye, I walked over to him and told him I loved him and how much he meant to me. As he lay there fairly unresponsive, I leaned over and gave him a hug. Then something truly incredible happened. He hugged me back. What a special moment that was, and a true testament of how much he loved me.

Ever since Papa passed away, all I’ve really been thinking about are these special memories. Looking back at them, I do feel a lot of sadness. I think to myself, he shouldn’t have gone so soon. I wasn’t ready. I want to see him again. I want to create more memories. Why did I ever say “no” to my dad asking me if I wanted to go visit him?

At the end of the day, however, I do feel some peace. I do feel some joy. Because quite frankly, I am SO blessed to have any memories at all. I’ve had friends whose grandparents live far away. I’ve had friends who don’t remember their grandparents. I’ve had friends who have had bad experiences with their grandparents to the point where they can’t see them anymore. I never had to worry about any of that with Papa. He was always there for me. That is truly special. I love you, Papa, and I am so thankful for all that you’ve done for us.

Brett's eulogy for his dad.

I'm still struggling to find my words, so here are Brett's. He, Ryan and the other family members who spoke at the service did a wonderful job describing their dad and papa.

My Dad 

When I was a kid, Dad rarely told us what he was thinking. He just wasn’t that expressive with his words. He joked with us and told stories about his childhood, but he wasn’t one to wear his emotions on his sleeve.

His actions, however, spoke louder than any words ever could. Dad’s work ethic is legendary, but he always had time for his family. Dad loved watching sports on TV, but he enjoyed playing them even more.

The storage room in our garage was filled with bats, balls, gloves, and other sports equipment, all of which got used on a regular basis. I remember neighborhood baseball games in the field behind our house, football in the front yard, and basketball in the driveway.

When my friends or Scott’s friends would come over to play basketball, Dad would always fill in if there were an odd number of people, and he could definitely hold his own—he was big and strong and a good athlete. Every evening after dinner, Scott, Dad, and I would kick the football up and down our long driveway, kicking it as high and as far as possible. We would also throw the Frisbee and play HORSE.

When we kids were younger, Dad tucked us into bed every night—he must’ve read Three Billy Goats Gruff to me a thousand times. Regardless of our age, he always told us he loved us: “Dad loves you,” he would say. And, later on, he would always tell his grandkids, “Papa loves you.”

Throughout the years, Dad was a solid, steady, constant presence in our lives. He was always there, whether it was mealtime, TV time, or whatever. He rarely did the outwardly spectacular—there were no ocean cruises, no trips to Disney World, no European vacations—but every year he would take the family on one of our infamous vacations, whether it was to go look at the Grand Canyon for a few minutes or drive through the Rocky Mountains in Colorado.

Dad also grilled hamburgers for our birthdays, took us out to eat every Friday night, took us to countless Rangers games, rode bikes with us, and drove us to Harrington’s on Saturdays to buy candy with our allowance. He gave us allowance each week, but not a penny more. If I saw a car model at K-Mart that I wanted, I couldn’t get it if I hadn’t saved up enough money. In short, he taught us hard work and to appreciate the value of a dollar.

It was obvious Dad loved us, but since he was so quiet and undemonstrative, I often wondered exactly what was going on inside his head. Was he happy to be a husband to my mom? Did he enjoy being a father to us kids? He always had a calm, cool exterior and an unflappable disposition, but did he ever fantasize about having a more glamorous, more exciting life?

When we were younger, Scott and I used to joke about Dad—What was he? He wasn’t a hunter or a fisherman or a cowboy. He had a garden, but he wasn’t a farmer. He worked on cars and seemed to like them, but he wasn’t into hot rods or racing. He liked sports, but he didn’t have season tickets or wear the colors. He was a company man, but he had no interest in climbing the corporate ladder. He was a churchgoer, but didn’t seem especially religious. What was my dad?

Although it should have been patently obvious from the beginning, I didn’t get to the core of what Dad was all about until I was in my late 20s. During the third year of our marriage, Charis and I were having marital difficulties, and Mom and Dad came to our house to talk things over and find out what they could do to help.

Throughout the tearful conversation, Dad was his usual stoic self, looking dour and concerned but relatively unfazed. After Charis, Mom, and I had drilled the subject into the ground, and after the tears were beginning to dry, Dad—who shed no tears, naturally—finally spoke up. He looked me in the eye, put his hand on my shoulder, and said: “Keep your family together.”

It hit me at that moment like an anvil to the head who Dad truly was: a Family Man with a capital F. Through love, hard work, sensible living, and steadfast dedication, Dad had kept his family together, and he expected no less of me. Every day I’m thankful I followed his advice and his example.

If Dad were an overly talkative man, the phrase “keep your family together” would have been a quickly forgotten cliché amidst all the drama. However, coming from Dad, the importance of those words wrapped themselves around my cerebral cortex like a python and have echoed through my thoughts ever since.

Henry David Thoreau once said, “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.”

My dad did lead a quiet life, but it wasn’t one of desperation or regret, and the song is not still with him. The song lives on in all the loved ones he left behind. The song lives on in everyone here today.

Papa.

Perry Gene “Papa” Weiss died Thursday, Dec. 19, at home after a courageous battle with pancreatic cancer. He leaves a legacy of Christ-centered service, commitment and strength. Funeral: 2 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 22, at Bluebonnet Hills Funeral Home. Visitation: 3-6 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 21, at the Bluebonnet Chapel.

Perry was born Jan. 19, 1932, in Osage, Texas, to Bennie and Edna Weiss. A graduate of Oglesby High School, he attended Baylor University and Tarrant County College and served in the U.S. Army.

He married Joan (Jo) Hicks on July 13, 1958, and they raised their children in Marshall and North Richland Hills. He retired in 2001 after 35 years of service at Bell Helicopter, where his work ethic was legendary. He rarely missed a day of work, and his quiet leadership was an inspiration to his co-workers. Perry was a member of The Hills Southlake Church.

He was known all over Tarrant County as “The Bike Man.” For 30 years he supplied and repaired bicycles for countless children, many of whom returned as customers when their own children were old enough to ride. Through his “bicycle ministry,” he also refurbished bicycles to donate to families in need.

Holy ground.

As we pulled into the driveway, Katie noticed all the cars.

“It seems like this should be a happy occasion,” she said.

True. Just about any other day, if you saw a bunch of cars at Nana and Papa’s house, you would expect to find a holiday or birthday celebration. And while we still found music, plenty of food, and the ever-present boisterous (read: LOUD) conversations, this was a different kind of celebration.

Today, we gathered to honor Papa, Brett's dad. His battle with pancreatic cancer is nearing its end, and we know it won't be long before he passes from this life. In-home hospice care started Friday, and today, his condition took a turn. We all came together, afraid to miss our last chance to say goodbye.

It's a wonder that I was free to join them there. For once, I'm thankful that I woke up with an upset stomach! This morning, after showering and getting dressed, I realized I was in no condition to teach. I requested a sub, grabbed the saltines, and headed to school to get some materials together. Ryan also woke up sick, so he missed school today, too. After some antacids and a good, long nap, I felt much better and Ryan was managing, so we headed to Nana and Papa's for a visit.

We were about 5 minutes away when Brett texted us to let us know Papa's condition had changed. Our planned stop at Sonic could wait; we made a bee-line to their house. When we arrived, the living room was awash in love. Around Papa's hospital bed were Nana and all three of his children. Our niece from Austin was there with her little boy, too. We took turns holding Papa's hands, hugging and kissing him, telling him how much we love him.

A little later, scared to wait too long, I picked Katie up from school an hour early. By the time we got to Nana and Papa's, the driveway was full and the house was bustling. We quickly learned that Papa was rallying, opening his eyes more and talking a little bit. The frantic "This is it" gave way, and our calmer vigil resumed.

Still, we know it won't be long. This isn't the end of Papa's story, but here in this space where life yields to death, we cling to our memories, tell the old stories, and shower Papa with love. As Kelly said in an email to family, this is holy ground. We are honored to share these moments, to participate in this ritual, as Papa finishes his race.

And we are blessed beyond measure by this amazing man's life and legacy.

Four glorious days.

We had plenty of warning. For days, our friendly neighborhood meteorologists had been telling us about the extreme cold and freezing rain we could expect at the end of the week. But we'd heard it all before; just a week ago, we'd gotten our hopes up, and all that we got was this:

Yep. That was our "winter weather event."

So this time around, we took the necessary precautions, but we weren't quite buying what the weather guys were selling. Sure, it COULD be a real deep freeze (that would "entomb" the Metroplex, as one prognosticator put it), but it could also be one big ratings ploy.

But Thursday afternoon, the temps started dropping and wet stuff was falling. Surprisingly, our school districts didn't even need to wait until morning to call off school for Friday. Turns out, that was a smart move. Around 3:30 Friday morning, I looked out our front door to see this:

Everything was covered in at least half an inch of ice.

And just like in 2011, it was like we'd pressed PAUSE right in the middle of our busy lives. No school. No alarm clocks. That bowling tournament in Huntsville? Nope. The SAT Ryan was scheduled to take Saturday morning? Postponed. All our plans were put on hold. On Sunday, I even had the day off from the job I do for free. Dangerous driving conditions extended our mini-vacay through today (Monday), too.

So what did we do? Lots of things! We had chili, cinnamon rolls, enchiladas, lots of coffee/hot chocolate, and cozy time spent by the fire:

And we ventured outside a time or two:

One of our neighbors has a sled that he was kind enough to let us use:

And of course, we just enjoyed our icy world:

Inside, we kept our pups warm:

We also paid bills, cleaned house, decorated three out of our four Christmas trees, and watched movies and football. (I also spent plenty of time on a heating pad since my lower back is NOT a fan of the cold.)

Throughout these four days, I've noticed that there are basically two kinds of people: those who relish cocooning in their homes and those who just HAVE to get out. All weekend I was stunned to see my Facebook friends talking about their various excursions into the frozen tundra just for grins: trips to the movies, shopping excursions, dinners out on the town. I was already worried sick about my friends who had to travel for work. I couldn't handle the stress of knowing others were "slip-slidin' away" by choice! But you know, some folks just have to get out of the house. Now if you recall my ever-present wanderlust, you'd think I'd fall in that category. But when the travel is treacherous, I'm the homebodiest homebody you've ever seen! Besides, I have so much respect for the first-responders who have to be on the roads, rescuing the stranded. The best way I can convey that respect is by not being someone in need of rescue.

So tomorrow we will finally push PLAY, and all our busy-ness will resume. But what a great four days we've had! And hey, it's not even winter yet. Maybe we'll have a few more ice days before spring? (Please?!)

November, we hardly knew ye.

Christmas has come to Fort Worth. 

It's not quite December yet, 

but it was snowing inside Bass Hall tonight.

Outside, folks were enjoying the new Sundance Square. 

From the big Christmas tree to the snowflakes projected on the pavement, there's no doubt: We've officially entered this holiday season.

And so, this crazy November draws to a close, and NaBloPoMo ends with it. Usually I'm able to catch up on old events throughout the 30 straight days of posts. But this year, I was either too overwhelmed to edit old pix or too distracted by random thoughts to catch up with back-blogging. Even though I still have months' worth of events to record, it was nice to have an excuse (albeit a lame one) to blog again. It felt good to have my little online journal, and as crazy as this month was, from football to dentistry to desperate prayer requests, I'm thankful I had this "cheap therapy," this place to record my nonsensical musings. It's so appropriate that NaBloPoMo is during this season of thanksgiving. There's something about writing every day that forces you to acknowledge all your blessings. For that, I'm thankful.